colin

i had a dream last night

WHEW

crazy nightmare

many issues

first -

Laura called me

from Sunny Beach

a tropical place, she explained

and reasoned that I should already know that

since she lived in Virginia with all of you

she called me to ask me

so how long have you been pregnant?

she had sensed it over the many miles because of a change in the wind

then i discovered that Killy knew i was pregnant too

but that I didn't know

so i pretended i knew

and laughed insincerely that I knew for weeks already

THEN

later that day

I got fired from my waitressing job

because of gossiping

and as I was ready to go home

a really nice asian guy

one of those ultra hip super souped car jag guys

parked ON TOP of my little car

squashing it into the shape of a box

i cried from having lost the job

and felt bad for making the nice asian guy fell bad

so i took my baby to a petting zoo

which was the best petting zoo in the world

because it had a whole slew of llamas to pet

and a big yard full of kissing cows

yep - that's right - cows that, instead of mooing

made BIG WET kissing sounds

so loud that sometimes it came out sounding like a high pitched squeak

and then - these cows looked like something that dr. Seuss would draw

anyway

the baby and i went through the zoo and ended up at my old bosses house

(Don was the baby's second godfather)

where we ran into quickly upon seeing a six foot rabbit in the back yard

who really wanted to get into the moon

so my boss shares a trick from the 60s with us

this time, it was barbara ann and the baby and me

hanging out at Don's house

he showed us how to take essential oils

and rub them on our gums

for a REALLY stunning, natural high with no side effects

(except for a dry mouth)

and it was good for the baby too!

SO

there we were when all of a sudden

the cops busted in and arrested Don and Adolph

(I don't know how Adolph got in there)

for being Hector Molesters

hmmmm

so barbara was confused and argued

ineffectively

to release don and adolph

but the cops wouldn't have any of it

i finally got her to stop talking as i saw that this was just working against us

and i let the cops do their thing

but just before they left

i pleaded to their common sense

which i realized they totally lacked when they insisted on arresting don and adolph

and they took them away

and barbara ann, the baby and i were left in don's house

afraid to go outside because of the six foot rabbit

who kept looking at the moon



then i woke up