Friday, December 17, 2004

Hello my friends.

Hello to you all.



It has been a too long seperation. I have not even looked at the blog in some time.

I have wanted to speak so much with each of you and I keep my distance.



It has been too long indeed.



I mostly don't know what to say.



I am here at work. I am behind on my deadlines.

The girls are in West Virginia, I will be joining them on the 22nd.

Work is work.



The time is going by so much. Where am I.

I read the posts and see you guys in proximity to each other.

I don't know why the fuck I have placed so much distance between myself and those I love.

I am not hear for all dour reasons, even though the miss I feel is large and tangible.



The holidays are upon us.

I want to say so much and all of my typing is not getting at the heart of it.

what to say, what to say.



I am going to the indoor skatepark tonight, brought my stuff with me so I can leave right from work.

I am gonna go up to the Mountain this weekend and go snowboarding.



Last nite, I was scanning pages Hannah put together for a book for Laura for chrstmas. While I waited for the scanner to scan, I pulled down a sketch book from when I first got up here. First of all I have to admit that I love to look at my own drawings almost best of all. Drawing and writing thoughts down that are elicited by the drawings, that is something that seems like time well spent. To hold a whole book of pages all filled with things that I saw and things I imagined.

I think one of the best things is haveing no preconceived ideas, when things are most pure, the blank page draws out that which is inside. I have been trying to teach myself new ways of working since I am paid to be "creative" but looking back at how I work when it is done in the same mode as putting on my shoes before I go outside, there is a feeling that arises, a smile afloat on tears.

like the whole of a person in order.



This is not really going anywhere.

just me reconnecting with my friends.

I can tell by how the tiny letters on my screen arrange themselves. I can tell that a familiar hand was at work somewhere crafting a voice in a silent medium. I can feel the letters together to make a smile and a slight turn of the head, suggesting an understanding that comes with a shared history. Like two bubbles connected by a straw. Letters formed into words, all that thinking and feeling shaped for travel, shaped to hold and wait, and release. I feel you all with me looking over my shoulder.



Does anyone want to go with me to the Mountain this weekend?

Or the skatepark tonight?



I miss those girls.

All the noise and chaos gone out of my day.

It's quiet.

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